


The Problem with Sir Declan

by RagingHomo



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur is trying his best, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), Idiots in Love, Insecure Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), M/M, Merlin reads dirty romance novels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:29:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27415015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RagingHomo/pseuds/RagingHomo
Summary: “It isn’t porn, it’s romance,” the manservant protested, a bright red flush covering his face and ears. “You would understand if any of you had so much as one romantic bone in your body.” He stood with a flourish and stormed off towards the castle.Or,After discovering Merlin enjoys cheesy romance novels, Arthur gets insecure about their relationship and starts acting like one of the protagonist.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 242





	The Problem with Sir Declan

It started when Merlin, being the useless idiot he was, didn’t hear Arthur call for his water skin, so the king had to go and find him. In all honesty, he could have just fetched the water skin himself, he wasn’t as helpless as some people (Merlin) made him out to be. 

He was, however, very concerned that his manservant wasn’t watching him train. Merlin often expressed that one of the best parts of his morning was watching Arthur work up a sweat on the field, second only to being able to undress him afterwards. So, naturally, Arthur was curious about what could  _ possibly  _ be more interesting than him and his sexy training regimen. 

He was surprised to find the object of Merlin’s attention was a book. He knew the servant could read and write, after all he wrote most of Arthur’s speeches, but he didn’t know he read for pleasure.

“What are you doing?” Arthur demanded, crossing his arms petulantly. He couldn’t believe that Merlin would choose a  _ book _ over him, his lover. 

“He’s just reading one of his dirty porn books again,” Gwaine supplied helpfully, jogging up to the pair with a few other knights. 

“It is  _ not  _ a porn book,” Merlin argued. “It’s a romance novel. It’s called  _ The Long Sword. _ ”

“Hmm,” Percival plucked the book from Merlin’s hand easily and holding it just out of his reach. “Cecily ran her trembling, feminine fingers over Sir Declan’s muscular torso, dressing his wounds carefully,” he read before tossing the book to Elyan.

Elyan continued to narrate down the page. “‘You really should be more careful, my lord,’ she scolded gently. Declan grabbed her by the chin, forcing her emerald green eyes to meet his intense brown ones. ‘For you, my love, I would face all manors of evil in this world. I would slay the largest dragons, fight the fiercest warriors, cross the widest rivers, if it meant but an hour in your presence.’” 

“‘But my lord, I am a mere serving girl,’” Leon continued in an overly feminine voice. “‘And you are the best warrior in the kingdom. Surely your affections should go to someone more worthy than I.’ Cecily didn’t get the chance to finish, as Declan pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss, his tongue exploring every nook and cranny of her wet, hot- Woah, Merlin. This is steamy.”

“More importantly,” Gwaine announced, grabbing the book from Leon. “I think our boy here has a thing for knights, huh Merlin?” 

Lancelot rolled his eyes and took the story from Gwaine and returned it to Merlin. “Hey, Merlin works hard for all of us. We shouldn’t tease him.” 

“Thank you, Lancelot,” Merlin exclaimed. 

“Yes,” Lance smirked. “If he needs his dirty porn books to get him through the day, then I say we let him have that!” 

“It isn’t  _ porn _ , it’s  _ romance _ ,” the manservant protested, a bright red flush covering his face and ears. “You would understand if any of you had so much as one romantic bone in your body.” He stood with a flourish and stormed off towards the castle. 

“Wait, Merlin,” Gwaine called apologetically, causing the man in question to turn around. “I know that I am the best warrior in the kingdom, and you are a mere servant, but I can’t keep my feelings for you hidden any longer! I burn for you with the intens-”

“You’re a dick, Gwaine.”

The knights laughed good naturedly. Arthur didn’t think it was so funny. Was Merlin really so unsatisfied with him that he needed to turn to these ridiculous stories?

* * *

“Geoffrey,” Arthur greeted as he walked into the castle’s library. The older man looked up, surprised to see him come to the room himself. Normally, when he needed a book on war strategy or a kingdom’s history, he’d send Merlin. This task, however, was of the utmost secrecy. 

“Sire, can I help you?” 

“Yes, actually. Do you have any copies of  _ The Longest Sword _ ?” 

The man gave him a look that was equal parts confusion and amusement. “I do, sire, but are you sure you want that particular story? It is essentially po-”

Arthur raised his hand, cutting the man off. “Oh, I’m well aware,” he said. “The book, please?”

“Of course, sire.” 

Arthur took the explicit book and tucked it under his arm safely. Of course, on his way up to his rooms, he just had to run into Merlin. The manservant seemed to have a knack for making his life more difficult.

“Merlin,” he greeted cordially, hiding the book behind his back. “Good evening.”

Merlin raised an amused brow. “Good evening, Arthur. What’s behind your back?” 

“Nothing at all.” 

The servant’s smile only grew. “Is it flowers? Are they for me?” he teased, running around Arthur’s back to see the hidden object. 

“Mer _ lin _ ,” he growled, in a voice that suggested true anger rather than his usual playful exasperation.

The man was quick to correct his behavior. “Sorry.” He raised both hands in surrender. “Are we still on for tonight?” he asked hopefully. 

And as much as Arthur would have loved his partner's company, he shook his head and said, “I am feeling rather tired tonight, but I will see you at the feast tomorrow.” 

He had some reading to do. 

* * *

Merlin racked his brain for anything he could’ve done to upset Arthur. For the king to not invite him to his chambers at all was unusual, and normally the sign of a deeper problem. 

There were only two categories of Arthur anger; professional anger at Merlin’s (admittedly terrible) job performance and personal anger regarding their romantic relationship. A good breakfast tended to fix either. 

So Merlin showed up twenty minutes early, a plate of Arthur’s favorite breakfast in hand, and went to the bed to wake him. He was surprised to find his lover at the desk instead, his head tucked neatly in the crook of his elbow.

He did want to get back on Arthur’s good side, he really did, but some opportunities were too good to pass up. He slammed his hand down on the table and yelled, “Good morning, sire!” Arthur shot up immediately, surveying his surroundings for any danger and relaxing when he found none. “What were you doing sleeping on the table?” 

“I fell asleep reading.”

“What were you reading?” Merlin reached for the book, but Arthur quickly slid it away, letting it fall to the floor carelessly. 

“I am the King of Camelot and I do not have to answer to the likes of you,” Arthur snarled. 

Merlin paused, debating whether or not it was worth questioning. He decided it wasn’t. Arthur was already in such a strange mood and he didn’t want to fan that fire. “Well, I brought you breakfast,” he said cheerfully, presenting the plate.

“Thank you, my dear.” 

“Are you alright?” 

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just that normally you would say something like ‘Hell must have frozen over, Merlin, you’re actually on time for once,’” he mimicked in his most arrogant voice.

“Early or late, every moment I spend with you is a gift,” Arthur said. If the comment had been made sarcastically, Merlin wouldn’t have batted an eye, but as far as he could tell it was sincere, which terrified him to no end. 

Merlin pressed a concerned hand to Arthur’s forehead. “Okay, you are definitely running a fever. We need to get you to Gaius.” 

“I need no physician,” Arthur declared. “I am simply burning with my desire for you.” 

“Are you drunk?” Merlin stared at him incredulously. 

“Only on love.”

“Okay…” Merlin backed towards the door slowly. He needed to find whatever revenge driven sorcerer did this to Arthur, and  _ fast _ , because he couldn’t deal with whatever this was. 

* * *

Merlin could find no signs of sorcery at play, which could only mean one of three things. One- Arthur hit his head during training yesterday and was suffering some sort of mental affliction. Two- Arthur was doing this as some sort of cruel joke or punishment. Or three- Merlin had ripped the veil between worlds again and this was some sort of parallel dimension.

He brought the king his lunch and his polished armor in the afternoon, hoping to slip in and out of the room unnoticed. His plan for the time being was to avoid Arthur at all costs until he quit being such a weirdo. Unfortunately, Arthur had other plans.

“Fancy meeting you here,” the blond said as he backed Merlin into the door.

“Is it?” he asked. “I mean, these are your chambers and it’s my duty to clean them.” 

Arthur took both of his hands in his own. “Hands as beautiful as these should never have to scrub the cold, stone floors,” he said, pressing a gentle kiss to each of Merlin’s knuckles. 

The manservant blushed bright red and looked away. “I have to go muck out the stables!” he announced unceremoniously and all but ran out the door. 

* * *

Things got even more strange that evening, if that was even possible. Arthur wouldn’t let Merlin get him dressed for the evening, and then showed up in the most garish open chested tunic imaginable.

“Um, sire?” Leon inquired as Arthur sat at the main banquet table. “Is everything okay?” 

“Oh, Sir Leon, how could it not be?” he replied with a longing glance at Merlin. 

Lancelot squinted and gestured for Merlin to refill his wine. “Is it sorcery?” he asked in a hushed voice. 

Merlin didn’t need to ask what he was referring to. “No. He’s been like this all day.”

Before Lance could reply, Arthur crossed the room and took Merlin into his arms, dipping him dramatically. “My love,” he said loudly, causing the entire hall to stop and stare. “I can keep our courtship a secret no longer. I love you, I need you. You are the light of my world and the stars in my sky and I-” 

“Enough!” Merlin shouted as he pulled away from the king. “Arthur, seriously, what the Hell? Everyone here already knows about our relationship and you’ve been so weird all day. I don’t know why you would think that I’d want any of this…” his hand flew to his mouth in realization. “You’re trying to be Sir Declan!” 

“No!” 

“Yes.” 

“No!” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay, fine,” Arthur ceded. “I just thought- you were so- never mind!” He stormed out of the room, leaving a trail of stunned subjects in his wake. 

* * *

“Hey,” Merlin greeted softly as he crawled into bed with Arthur, who was understandably hiding beneath the covers. 

“Go away, Merlin.” When he realized the servant would do no such thing, he threw the blankets off of himself and allowed the other man to lay down next to him.

Merlin laid his head on his chest. “So if you don’t mind my asking,” he said through his giggles. “What were you thinking?” 

Arthur sighed. “I don’t know. When I saw you reading that book, I thought maybe you were unsatisfied… with me. So I thought maybe if I read it too I could start incorporating more of those  _ romantic  _ aspects into our relationship. Then I read about this Sir Declan fellow and I thought you wanted somebody more like that.” 

“Oh, Arthur, trust me, you don’t need to be worried about Sir Declan. For starters, he’s fictional.” 

“Merlin,” Arthur warned. 

“Alright, I’m sorry.” He snuggled a bit closer to Arthur. “Those books are just fantasy, Arthur. They’re cheesy, stupid, cliche scenarios that don’t mean anything. They’re… they’re…” 

“Porn?”

“Not porn,  _ romance _ ,” Merlin said. “But what we have is real, and messy, and incredible, and I wouldn’t trade it for even the most perfect story, alright?” 

“So you really didn’t find anything I did today romantic?” 

“I think it’s romantic that you were willing to humiliate yourself like that in front of everyone for me,” Merlin offered. 

“Yeah, I’m never going to live that down,” Arthur agreed. “Hey, can you do me a favor and not tell anybody about the other embarrassing things I did today? I’m already going to have a hard time facing them.” 

“Of course,” Merlin agreed. “But only if you kiss me with the intensity of a thousand suns, Sir Declan.” 

“Anything for you, sweet Cecily.” 

* * *

“Merlin!” Arthur called as he entered the physician’s office. Instead he found a certain maid who always seemed to know where his useless manservant was. 

“Guinevere, have you seen my useless toad of a servant?” he asked. “My floors are absolutely disgusting.”

Guinevere smiled at him sweetly. “But, my lord, I thought hands as beautiful as Merlin’s should never have to scrub the cold, stone floor.” 

“ _ MERLIN! _ ” 


End file.
